00:00.00 kinkella Hello and welcome back to the pseudo archeology podcast episode 122 I am your host Andrew Kingkella and we are remembering Indiana Jones in the last crusade and we're kind of couching it in the world of 1989 right? And we're doing our little 3 act breakdown and now we're on to act 2 so we are have now decided to go on the adventure right? and we have that tracing the plane voyage on indiana jones that is so great and it. It really tells you oh we're off on our adventure now right? which is which is awesome. So they're going to Venice. They get to Venice they meet um Elsa Schneider german name suspicious don't you think oh yes, me too. Um. And she is going to be sort of the femme fatal right? She's this like blonde bombshell type. They immediately go over to the library and they have to kind of crack a code. It's it's very video gamish in terms of like where do we dig in the library. And of course they get to do the joke of x marks the spot they dig. They find that there are catacombs under the library which I really dug I really liked this setup and and I do have to say I mean I really liked this movie overall as I think so many of us so many of us do um in the catacombs. There's. 01:33.60 kinkella Image of the arcrk and you know Indiana Gens goes the arcrk of the covenant and of course else is like are you sure and Harrison Ford pretty sure you know the the great um underplayed comedy. so so good you know in terms of the pseudo archeology world. Obviously so much of the stuff in Indiana Jones is is not real or would never happen and I've talked about this kind of stuff before and and I don't really care because you know it's ah it's just for fun. It's a movie. It's fiction but I will say there's moments and it's rare for me. It's rare for me I'm very chill but there's moments in these movies sometimes where where I have to clutch my pearls a little and I clutched my pearls when Indiana Jones rips a mummy arm. Out like there's there's just mummies laying in these catticcombs and then he like rips some ah mummy wrappings out and then wraps them on the bone and lights it on fire to have a torch and I'm like what you ruining precious archaeological information right? it's. 02:50.74 kinkella What's so funny is it's like when he's destroying whole pyramids and stuff I usually don't care but little moments like that I'm like oh how dare you sir so he does that of course so they can see they get to the tomb of. 1 of the knights right? The idea is that these 3 brothers were the guardians of the Holy Grail and 2 of them are dead and 1 of them is so far not accounted for but this is one of the brothers and they're able to read get the rest of the clues from his shield. It's carved on his shield very cool. Um, I mean we have to say if we're comparing this like Indiana Jones 5 it's very similar to sort of the tomb scene and they do this a lot of times a lot of Indian Jones Movie Indian Jones 4 has one of these kind of going into the tomb and getting the clue. From inside. Someone's tomb. You know we've seen this kind of a lot It's almost like the the death star thing in the star wars world that I've used it so many times it's like all right, we're gonna go get a clue out of a tomb now. But it's hey man I had fun. And this is where all of a sudden There's a ton of rats in the joke. Oh rats which is hey man I thought it worked um but then get out oh and then it lights on fire the get out of it famous scene where they climb out of like the sewer grill into like a cafe. 04:22.65 kinkella And outdoor cafe then they get on a boat. We have a boat chase which I thought really worked now I thought a whole lot of this movie worked um couple parts that I thought didn't we'll talk about that later but the boat chase simple believable. Real boats real chase very little or no cgi at all dear hollywood please do more of this. Not a bunch of fake crap. That's not believable right? It doesn't have to be over the top. It's like It's fun to watch 2 boats speeding around on ah on a river it's cool so they obviously get away from the boat chase we see that Elsa is kind of a badass because she's driving the boat we see that there's this shadowy group called I believe the brotherhood of the cruciform soul. Or something that that guards the the grail and doesn't want them to find it. Um, they kind of get back to the hotel. There's there's a sort of a descending action for a minute where they're just serving the hotel. There's a bit of a. Sex scene situation. Um, but their their rooms are tossed and then on the way of the grell they got to drive to the german castle right? and they're going to come across nazis course right? and in this german castle. 05:58.59 kinkella Amongst the nazis we finally see Sean Connery we finally ah see Indiana Jones's dad right? final reveal and then immediately Indiana Jones ' dad is like oh Elsa you know she's full of it. Don't believe anything she says because they're at this. Moment where there's nazis. You know with guns pointed and indian jones is like no no, she's fine, but she's not the big reveal is else is a bad guy and then dunovan's a bad guy too. World of bad guys right. They're looking for the grail for nefarious nazi purposes course. So now. The tables are turned Indiana Jones's dad are trapped in this castle you know, um, things get lit on fire. Um, they have to get out. Very difficult you know and and fun and ah there is some high concept stuff. There's sort of a I hate it when movies like this go for the funny too much There's this um, rotating wall thing. You know it's very marx brothers I where it's like ah this wall rotates and then they're in the secret Nazi Bunker and then it rotates in their back out in this other room and the the soundtrack might as well be like did it did it that that but like it's like dude. 07:35.33 kinkella That breaks the tone right? You guys who've heard me talk about the stuff before I'm I'm always all pissy about tone and that I'm like to don't need this joke silly. It takes away but they do it. Like chose to look away for a moment you know and be happy so they get out of there. We see sala again for a minute they kind of plan and talk with sala a bit which is nice. Um, then there's a as they finally. Get away from the castle. Ah the get away on a motorcycle and there's a motorcycle chase and the motorcycle chase is cool. It's real It's simple, but it's real seems like I got to say Indiana Jones does a ton of motorcycle chases. They did it in indian jones ah 5 they did in an jones four. But. They tend to be some of the best chases because I know they're simple. They're fun. They're not too long short. They do this little jousting thing which is kind of silly but fun. Why not real motorcycles. Um, they. Have a moment with a serious scene and this is something that I'm always wanting more of out of movies like this. It's like stop the slapstick comedy bullshit more little serious scenes right to ground us. 09:08.95 kinkella To make us realize that the stakes are real. You have a serious scene where Indiana Jones is like he's talking to his dad and he's like you know mom never understood and he's like yes she did like that's cool, right? Little scene like that I love those dear. Filmmakers of all movies. Give me a few serious scenes right? So they get away on the motorcycle. They realize they have to get the grail diary back. They get it back. There's a moment where they're at a nazi um like rally and Adolf Hitler signs the diary. Course they go to go. They can kind of high concept didn't have to happen. They could have cut it. Um and then they get on the Zeppelin now some people bitch and moan that the Zeppelin has pretty crappy ah special effects which it does I remember even in 1989 looking at the screen and going like that looks weird and I remember even thinking like I'm like I don't know if they should have done that because it just looked kind of fake and odd but it's only on screen for a minute so indian jones is dad like sneak on the Zeppelin. Um. They have a couple funny scenes. They do a couple serious things. Thank god ah they they are able to escape off the zeppelin on a biplane that's hooked to the Zeppelin itself and that's true. Those used to have stuff like that. Um that that whole plane There's a little plane. 10:44.71 kinkella Ah, chase you know that does feel a little fakeish and a little little over the top. Um, they then I forget exactly how this goes but they they then land I think they crash land. But then. 1 of the worst scenes is there's a pilot who's following them in like a german plane and he crashes through a tunnel and the fuselage of the plane like skids by them in the tunnel and the. Pilot in the plane like looks at them and stuff and kind of does a like who hey this is wacky. Why why do that? Why why why? I don't understand when good filmmakers do crap like this. It's like but what and that. But cost so much money and time I don't I just continue to not get it when movies do stuff like this totally not needed totally cut you out of the scene you're like for for a stupid joke and it's completely unrealistic. Oh yeah, the pilot's going to be like I'm just. Scrapeman through here and the fuagege of a plane isn't just going to explode on contact come on just stupid dude. Um, so now though that they're that indiane jones's dad are out of their clutches. They can kind of. 12:16.13 kinkella Start planning for their counter attack right? and talk with sala a bit and they're gonna try and move forward. But then they end up getting attacked by a tank There's this big tank scene and I think it's something you remember if you think back to this movie right? that. Tank scene. It's like okay they're on horseback some and there's the tank and um Indiana Jones basically has to battle against the tank and at the big crisis scene. The tank ultimately falls off a cliff and is destroyed and we think that Indiana Jones was in it. 2 right? and we're like oh my god we know the hero is not dead but it seems like he's dead and of course he's not he clambber up from the side of the cliff and Sean Connery hugs him and he goes like oh my boy I thought I lost you. Like serious and I love stuff like that right? a serious reaction. How a father would really react if they thought they had lost their child nice right? I can almost forgive them for the stupid stupid plane thing. So now that they've gotten over this crisis moment now we're into act 3 right and act 3 is basically just Petra right? They go to Petra this is where the um holy grail is going to be. 13:52.95 kinkella And then they realize that they that there's 3 Um,, there's There's like what should I call this like there's there's 3 um, not tricks. Like. 14:20.00 kinkella There's 3 trials that have to be gone through in order to get to where the Holy Grail is and what's happened right? now is is Indiana Jones's dad has actually been shot right? and so Indiana Jones is forced to do this. It's one of those India Jones tropes where they've had a bunch of red shirts right? A bunch of miscellaneous troops already try to get through these and they've all been killed and the first one is the breath of god only the penitent man shall pass and Indiana Jones feel figures. That's like oh I have to kneel and he kneels just in time for some huge blades go by and so he doesn't get his head cut off and then he has to pass the word of god which is he has to spell out Jehovah and there's this joke like oh but Jehovah begins with an eye and he he steps on the wrong. Um, letter and then there is of course the path of god the famous leap of faith where indian jones just does it and it looks like he has to just step onto into this like cavernous fall like just off this cliff. But. Um there's actually a little pathway there that you excuse me that you can't see and so indian jones steps down at famous scene in the movie right? gets on it. Um, and then walks this final path meets the final brother who's um, guarding the Grail who's in. 15:48.52 kinkella Ancient ancient old man soldier right? A a not as soldier. What might do I'm sorry it's late I'm excited. You know at a night not his soldier so much is it is a knight world world's oldest night and um since indian jones made it this far then of course Donovan and Elsa are right behind and they're going to get the Grail um Elsa picks one for dunovan to use. It is of course the wrong 1 donovan uses it to drink from the water of life. You know. And then all of a sudden he becomes super old and basically explodes because that's what happens when you get super old really fast you explode dude you didn't know that very scientific, but then the famous line right? He chose poorly. And then of course Indiana Jones knows what to look for a cup of a carpenter It's this very basic cup. He uses it and then of course you have chosen wisely then Indiana Jones brings the cup out pours the water on his dad so his dad's bullet wound magically goes away. But then since he crossed the seal everything starts to break and fall apart and elsa tries to grab the grail and take it out and she's like I can get it I can get it and Indiana is like I can't you can't I can't hold you and then she falls down a krevas to her death and then Indiana Jones starts to do the same thing and his. 17:20.58 kinkella Dad is trying to hold them and indian jones is like I can get it and then of course Henry is like Indiana um at the indian jones like oh my god he lets it go ah and then of course they make it out and in one of the. Best endings of all time they get on their horses and literally ride into the setting Sun. What a damn good ending when we return my final thoughts.